Poisoned Rationality

Poet. Novelist. Dreamer. Electronic musician. Cinephile. Peacemaker. Human Rights activist. Future hero.

Seek truth, Uncage your heart, and live in the moment.

- Peter von Harten

The Internet Slowdown is coming, and it's going to be huge.

fight4future:

Hey there,

Exciting news! The Internet Slowdown net neutrality protest planned for September 10th is really taking off. This morning, a dozen of the world’s largest websites announced that they’re joining in a big way. Sites you know and love like Etsy, Kickstarter, Wordpress, Vimeo,…

“Relationships are like credit cards, you should never give more than you have.”

Survey time!!

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? Maybe
2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now? I wouldn’t date anyone at the age I am now
3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time? Yesterday
4. Would you ever smile at a stranger? Yes, I try to smile at everyone
5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? Not dating or talking to anyone right now, plus I’m too old for that kind of drama
6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today? No
7. What exactly are you wearing right now? Jeans & a T-shirt
8. How often do you listen to music? Every day
9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more? Jeans of course. What kind of homosexual wears sweat pants? Only slutty ones!!
10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2015? I highly doubt it, but that would be nice.
11. Are you a social or an antisocial person? I’m anti-social and introverted until the loneliness threatens to take my sanity, then I have to get out before I go raving mad
12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’? Yes
13. What about ‘R’? No, I don’t believe so.
14. Can you drive a stick shift? I’d probably crash lol.
15. Do you care if people talk badly about you? Only if I haven’t done something bad.
16. Are you going out of town soon? If writing a novel means going out of town in my head, otherwise probably not unless a family member dies.
17. When was the last time you cried? My grandfather’s funeral in May.
18. Have you ever told someone you loved them? Of course.
19. If you could change your eye color, would you? I’d make them brighter blue, they’re more on the gray side and I hate it.
20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for? Not presently.
21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having. I’m filling out a survey and watching movies instead of writing my books.
22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead? I suppose.
23. Are you dating the last person you talked to? Would you date your father? Exactly.
24. What are you sitting on right now? A bloody chair. Well okay, just a chair. No blood here. That’d be alarming =p
25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you? No, but I wish they did.
26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? Always.
27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? My adorable friend Andy.
28. Do you get a lot of colds? Surprisingly no.
29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from? Ross.
30. Does anyone hate you? I’m sure someone does, but I don’t give anyone reasons to hate me.
31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room? No, only because I’ve recycled them.
32. Do you like watching scary movies? Occasionally. I find they’re better with Rifftraxx though =)
33. Do you want your tongue pierced? GOD no.
34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be? I would delete the last five.
35. Did you have a dream last night? Not that I could remember.
36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? Can’t remember.
37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? I’ll never get married. Don’t really want to, don’t see the need nor the point.
38. Do you think someone has feelings for you? If they do, it’s most likely the wrong person.
39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? No.
40. Did you have a good day yesterday? Not particularly. I ruined breakfast. The rest of it was boring.
41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship? Do I have to think back two months ago? Makes it seem ancient lol. Life moves quite fast for me. Nothing interesting happens, I have the most boring life, really.
42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl? No, I work too much.
43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? Yes, but they lied.
44. What’s the best part about school? When you’re actually interested in learning something.
45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook? Too many, most are stupid.
46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school? I don’t go to school and if I did, I wouldn’t pass notes, I’d text. God, is this survey from 1997? No one passes notes anymore lol.
47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head? Frequently, only I choose the right outcomes I wish would have happened. Or about my future, I try to envision it, though I’m quite terrible at it.
48. Were you single over the last summer? Yes. I’ve been single for 5 years.
49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago? The exact same, although now I don’t have 2 jobs (which I miss…I made bangin’ cash!)
50. What are you supposed to be doing right now? Writing my novels.
51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with? No.
52. Are you nice to everyone? I do my best.
53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? Not really.
54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? Of course. Besides, I don’t think this question applies to me, I’m the one who always gets cheated on.
55. Are you good at hiding your feelings? Usually.
56. Do you think you like someone? No.
57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’? A few, and they all tore my heart out and stomped on it.
58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys? Girls are better listeners and secret-keepers. It’s harder for me to trust boys.
59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry? Yes.
60. Do you hate anyone? I may resent things they’ve done, but as people, I don’t hate them. I don’t really hate anyone.
61. How’s your heart? Crying from the depths.
62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? Sort of…I’m an open book with almost everything, but there are also things I’m ashamed of which are a part of my private life which I don’t openly discuss, but if people know me and read my stories, they’d probably figure it out. Writing is the relief of the soul.
63. Have you ever cried over a guy? Numerous times, and felt like a fool every time for having done so, and for believing their lies.
64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now? Probably no one, though that’d be kinda cool. I must be pretty important for someone to be taking the time out of their own life to talk about me :)
65. Are your toenails painted pink? What?! Of course not, I don’t paint my nails.
66. Will your next kiss be a mistake? Most likely.
67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct? Depends on the circumstances as to why.
68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public? No.
69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with? Andy.
70. How do you look right now? Probably shit.
71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around? Yes, but I don’t see her often enough :/
72. Can you commit to one person? Of course. Again, not a question meant for me.
73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? Yes.
74. Have you ever felt replaced? Yes.
75. Did you wake up cranky? A bit.
76. Are you a jealous person? Not really. Perhaps. A bit.
77. Are relationships ever worth it? Depends on the person and what you’re willing to sacrifice, if anything. Relationships are like credit cards, you should never pay more than you have.
78. Anyone you’re giving up on? Myself.
79. Currently wanting to see anyone? Nope!
80. Name something you have to do tomorrow? Work, unfortunately.
81. Last person you cried in front of? Don’t recall.
82. Is there someone you will never forget? At least three people, although I’m sure they’ll all forget me in time if they haven’t already. Sad really, as they left the deepest scars on my heart.
83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you? No one has ever been protective of me aside from family lol.
84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now? Don’t wish to be with anyone, though if I did, probably engaging in lascivious behavior with one another :p
85. Are you over your past? Mostly, it’s more the future I worry about, which is ironic since I used to brood so much after what I lost, and now I worry about what I will lose because of the present scenario I’m trapped in. One can never win lol.
86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex? Yes.
87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to? Didn’t you already ask this question?
88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? Yes.
89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in? Perhaps. If I must, lol.
90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? Yes, and sadly they were right.
91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months? Probably not.
92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael? Yes.
93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew? No.
94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going? No.
95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March? Enough with the relationship questions, yeah?
96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive? Very much so.
97. Who do you have texts from? Too many texts, not enough sexts lol :p
98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? Have at it.
99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? Yes.
100. Who’s in your profile picture with you? The bloody wall.
101. Ever kissed under fireworks? Ah, dreams.
102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies? They’ve given me anxiety, panic attacks, stress, and the desire to punch them in the face. Oh sorry, butterflies? What is this, junior high? Go to bed.

Macaulay Culkin photography by Terry Richardson.

Christians vs. Homosexuality: What Is Moral?

The following is from a rather long YouTube comment I made to a woman who believes it is the Christian’s job to warn others about going to hell, which I disagree with. I know it’s a tad long, but I’m a writer and this is an issue which I’m incredibly passionate about not only as a homosexual, but as someone who was raised Christian in a loving household with my dad being a Baptist pastor. I want to build bridges and close the gap between us because there’s so much unnecessary fear and hatred coming from both sides. Here’s my take.

Morality does not come from the Bible, it comes from parents and a society who teach it to their children, and before the Bible, it came from cavemen and later humans interacting with each other and making decisions based on what wouldn’t kill them, i.e. challenging a wild animal in combat without a spear, they learned, was probably not a good idea. And if you learn what’s right and wrong in that sense, it doesn’t take you long to make decisions on everything else. If you take into account that God put us on this earth, in these bodies, to experience something special for the advancement of our souls, don’t you think He would let us discover everything for ourselves in terms of what will work and what doesn’t? Jesus Himself always invited people to “come and see”, and that sort of witness was far more powerful than any quotes he made about the Old Testament. I should note that it’s done a world of good for our church attendance as well.

I was raised in a Christian household, my dad is a Baptist pastor who has no problem accepting homosexuals and bases all of his sermons around having faith, practicing compassionate love towards everyone, being a witness to people through your actions, what works in modern times, and the Gospels. He has never made a sermon about the dangers of hell or God’s judgment to my knowledge (and I’ve sat through many years of his sermons).

The reason anyone grows intolerant of religion is because you’re using it to judge them, as opposed to letting them make that judgment for themselves. Religion is not meant to be used to judge others. If you practice it, you will decide what’s right for your own life in keeping with the scriptures. But to apply that same philosophy to people who may not share your beliefs will sound insulting and ridiculous to them. If you want to witness to people, then show it through your actions, not your words. In my mind when you make judgments on others, it takes away their fundamental right to experience life as God intends. We are meant to work through certain things in our time on Earth. BUT don’t misunderstand…if it’s causing anyone harm, then obviously step in. But that’s also why we have rules and morality as a society. The Bible itself is not a rulebook for life, it was never intended to be. What you take out of it and how you live and experience the life God gave you is what the Word is really all about. Learning for yourself while keeping faith.

If it was just a straight rulebook, we would also be subscribing to Old Testament law and stoning each other to death, but we’re not talking about that, we’re talking about homosexuality.

My view and my dad’s view is that you’re more or less born that way, and that factors throughout life can influence its expression, similar to genes or certain things which can happen in the womb. There has been research that putting stress on the mother, various chemicals to which she may have been exposed, or hormones her body released during stressful times can and will affect the fetus’s brain development later in life. This can be explained as a trigger for homosexuality. In some instances, maybe it takes more than that, like a major life crisis for example. Also in the Bible, there are a lot of things we’ve done away with that have no place in our current society. In other words, we understand the concept of the Word as being something which is ALIVE, and thus constantly changing, but which is no less moral than it was in the beginning. Looking for morality in the Bible today is largely based on several key concepts:

- What time/society are we living in?
- Does it cause harm to oneself?
- Does it cause harm to others?
- Does it keep with the core teachings of Jesus?
- What are the intentions of the heart?

You cannot judge a person who later on in life develops some sort of disease because of a gene expression that was suddenly triggered, for example, because we do not know the cause. Similarly, you cannot say the same of gay people, because you do not know how it was that they came to be gay.

But unlike things like alcoholism, adultery, etc. which all cause serious damage to families and society, we know that homosexuality does not cause harm to society based on those 5 above points. Should you wish to cite the Bible on this, it is important to remember that Sodom & Gomorrah was about sexual assault—which if you’re a feminist, you should understand as being a major problem whether it’s done to males or females, and also the fact that in Biblical times, homosexual relationships as we know them today did not even exist, and if homosexuality itself was spoken of (as in Paul’s writings in Romans), it would be in the context of Roman officials who kept slave boys and engaged in pedophilia. Which—keeping in the context of the verses in Romans—would make perfect sense, because he rails off about “thieves, murderers, adulterers”, etc.

But homosexuality as we know it today is a complete 180 degree turn from how it was spoken of in the Bible, and it’s important to remember that. One still decides what is in keeping with morality in that lifestyle, though.

For example, I identify as gay and have for the past 10 years, but I don’t approve of a lot of things that people in the gay community do, i.e. promiscuity, doing drugs, drinking yourself to death, anal sex, etc….but you know what’s interesting? All of these are actions which can be applied to people in the heterosexual community too, meaning that in my mind, homosexuality itself is a harm to no one.

As for “going to hell”, who are we to make such a judgment (if indeed that’s what we believe…I don’t believe there’s a hell outright, but my philosophy is a little complicated)? We are not called by God to judge, we are called to witness and be an example through our lives. And saying “well I don’t want them to go to hell” is, at its root, just a justification for your intolerance. We don’t try to cure alcoholism because we don’t want people to go to hell, nor do we tell people to stop being sexually promiscuous because we’re afraid they’ll go to hell, nor do we tell people with anorexia, bulimia, or self-harm issues that “we don’t want you to go to hell”. If that’s the kind of things they’re doing, trust me, in their minds, THEY ARE ALREADY THERE.

The same is not true of homosexuality. Our minds are most in hell when we FEAR being attacked or ostracized by society, always looking over our shoulders in each new environment with each new person we meet. “Will they accept me for who I am? Will I lose my job, my home, or will someone kill me?” Alcoholics, thieves, the sexually promiscuous, etc. don’t ask that sort of question because they know that what they are doing are actions, not a result of who they are as people. That’s why the gay rights movement can be equated with the fight for civil rights in America. Heck, a lot of African Americans still struggle with it! “Will they think I’m trying to steal something or kill someone if I walk down this street”, or for women, “is this man walking behind me a stranger or is he going to try to rape me…” You just don’t ask those sorts of things if it’s not something you struggle with as a result of who you are.

It seems to me that most Christians who rail against homosexuality cannot make that distinction. They take things out of context, and they ascribe actions to an orientation. I think it’s worth noting here that “homosexuality” and “child molestation” in the 1950’s were also used interchangeably. So people would call homosexuals child molesters.

You get the picture here? And yet that was the BIBLICAL definition! Homosexuals have been branded one of those really deviant things by the rest of society (no surprise, since an overwhelming majority of people in America identify as Christian) when all we want is to be loved and accepted by our families, friends, and have the same rights as everyone else in society. How is that harmful? As homosexuals, we aren’t aiming to hurt anyone, abuse anyone, etc. and if anyone in the gay community does, it’s not because they’re gay, it’s because they have other issues.

I know this was a long post, but I do hope you read it and that it makes you think twice about what you’re really saying when you judge homosexuals because it’s very important for Christians to make these distinctions and consider the Word as a living thing, as well as taking into account the humanity and intentions of people before they judge. It’s just not your place to judge someone else’s life, especially if they’re not causing harm to themselves or anyone else.

(Source: sanfrancisco1967, via morbaa)

I’m currently writing a Peter Pan story, which I hope to have finished as a Kindle e-book in time for Christmas =) Here is a short excerpt of the beginning:

PETER PAN DREW BACK HIS BOW just as the terrible sound of a thousand screaming faeries began to reach his ears on the eastern wind. “Not yet,” he strained, blocking out the voices as best he could until the arrow found its target. Tiger Lily had known this would be the most challenging part for her longtime friend. Still, the boy had mastered the art of the hunt within a week. His ears no longer bled at dawn. 
“Now!” He let go with a sharp exhale, releasing a perfect shot straight into the back of poor Rabbit’s head. Sorry Mister Rabbit, but magic doesn’t work anymore and we’ve got to eat. 
Peter and the Lost Boys had been hunting game with the Piccaninny tribe for some time now, having joined forces at the start of winter. Food had been plentiful at first; their imaginations were powerful things. But as the snow continued to fall for days without end, the concern became much too great to ignore. Their home under the ground was almost completely filled with it by the time Peter abandoned his pride to accept help from Chief Panther. 
Now, even the happiest of thoughts seemed to fade from memory. All that remained of Neverland’s magic was preserved in the faeries’ wings, which were shed every morning. Tiger and the Lost Boys followed a meandering path behind Pan, carefully placing them in their satchels.
“We’ve almost enough,” the princess said. “You think we’ll be ready soon?”
Peter hesitated. He could still hear faint screams echoing throughout the wood. “Maybe,” he winced.
“Sorry…I keep forgetting you’re the only one who can hear them.”
“I just worry about Tink,” the boy said grimly. “I haven’t seen her since the winter started.” Tiger placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.
“We’ll find her.”

I’m currently writing a Peter Pan story, which I hope to have finished as a Kindle e-book in time for Christmas =) Here is a short excerpt of the beginning:

PETER PAN DREW BACK HIS BOW just as the terrible sound of a thousand screaming faeries began to reach his ears on the eastern wind. “Not yet,” he strained, blocking out the voices as best he could until the arrow found its target. Tiger Lily had known this would be the most challenging part for her longtime friend. Still, the boy had mastered the art of the hunt within a week. His ears no longer bled at dawn.

“Now!” He let go with a sharp exhale, releasing a perfect shot straight into the back of poor Rabbit’s head. Sorry Mister Rabbit, but magic doesn’t work anymore and we’ve got to eat.

Peter and the Lost Boys had been hunting game with the Piccaninny tribe for some time now, having joined forces at the start of winter. Food had been plentiful at first; their imaginations were powerful things. But as the snow continued to fall for days without end, the concern became much too great to ignore. Their home under the ground was almost completely filled with it by the time Peter abandoned his pride to accept help from Chief Panther.

Now, even the happiest of thoughts seemed to fade from memory. All that remained of Neverland’s magic was preserved in the faeries’ wings, which were shed every morning. Tiger and the Lost Boys followed a meandering path behind Pan, carefully placing them in their satchels.

“We’ve almost enough,” the princess said. “You think we’ll be ready soon?”

Peter hesitated. He could still hear faint screams echoing throughout the wood. “Maybe,” he winced.

“Sorry…I keep forgetting you’re the only one who can hear them.”

“I just worry about Tink,” the boy said grimly. “I haven’t seen her since the winter started.” Tiger placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“We’ll find her.”

Little Bright Things, by Kominion

piecesofamoonchyld:

Recently Kaige told us he wishes he could be both a boy and a girl because he likes playing princesses as much as ninjas and he doesn’t want to get made fun of. So we bought him a tutu and gave him a makeover. Meet the new and improved Kaige. If you have a problem with it please keep it to yourself and kindly stay out of his life. Which would be a shame because as you can see he’s freakin’ awesome! #letmebeme #mumblr #stopbullying

Badass kid! I just think it’s so beautiful to see kids being who they are, and their awesome parents who allow them the freedom to do so. Major kudos and much love! =D

piecesofamoonchyld:

Recently Kaige told us he wishes he could be both a boy and a girl because he likes playing princesses as much as ninjas and he doesn’t want to get made fun of. So we bought him a tutu and gave him a makeover. Meet the new and improved Kaige. If you have a problem with it please keep it to yourself and kindly stay out of his life. Which would be a shame because as you can see he’s freakin’ awesome! #letmebeme #mumblr #stopbullying

Badass kid! I just think it’s so beautiful to see kids being who they are, and their awesome parents who allow them the freedom to do so. Major kudos and much love! =D